The runaway bride

My journey began about two and a half years ago. At the time I was 28 years old, living in Tel Aviv with a guy I’d been with for five years, and was working (as part of my training) with toddlers as a clinical psychologist in a small town at the north of Israel. I was also taking a few contemporary dance calsses per week, trying to save what was left of my childhood’s greatest dream and passion. I had been forced to stop dancing when I was 18 due to a knee injury and two surgeries. It took 9 years till I could dance again, and I felt blessed to be doing it again.

Then a friend of mine had moved to NYC to study dance and invited me to come visit. I decided to take a spontaneous trip and joined her for a couple of weeks. These were probably the best weeks of my life. It wasn’t my first time in NYC, but this time I was dancing, going out, shopping, and taking in everything this city has to offer. I returned to Tel Aviv, but all I wanted to do was go back.

A few months later my boyfriend proposed, I said yes, and we got engaged. I started planning my wedding, was still working and still dancing when I could. I kept going, but couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong, I felt like this can’t be all there is to life. I started feeling really anxious, not the normal anxiety people feel before getting married, but a true state of panic. Just thinking about it made me feel like I can’t breathe. I knew he wasn’t the right guy for me, and I knew our relationship wasn’t working anymore, but everyone around me was getting married we’d been together for such a long time, and there was a time, I remembered, I was in love with him, so it was comfortable, in a way. I told my friends I have to give it a try, worst case scenario I’ll get a divorce. But a month before the wedding we got into a big fight, and I couldn’t take it anymore, I told him we should cancel the wedding. From there pretty much hell broke loose, I left my place for a couple of months, traveled to Europe, danced some more, and once things settled down I returned back home. I continued my training, got a new position working with teenage girls with eating diorders, which I loved, but still something was missing. Half way through that year I realized that dance was the missing part, and I knew that once I finish my training I need to try pursuing my dream for real, this time in NYC.

So in the fall of 2017 I packed a few things, and moved to the big city…

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